In Paran (Dipodic Meter)
I grew up wild and reckless in the land of desert nomads,
In the arid lands that lie near the promised land and Egypt,
That land of milk and honey they were saving for my brother
And the land of Pharaoh’s bondage where my mother’s kin were born.
I lived my youth near Canaan and the slaving lands of Egypt;
I lived my life an outcast in the desert of Paran.
I grew up wild and stubborn: my hand against my father,
At war with all my kinfolk, my kin at war with me.
I grew up wild and skittish like a scared colt in a sandstorm
I laughed at mules and camels that never could break free.
But I learned to run in sandstorms, and how to eat my water,
And how to find oases, and how to take the heat.
I learned to talk to demons, to tempters and to genies.
I learned to talk to devils, to outcasts just like me.
I learned to love and pity my younger brother Isaac
When they took him to the slaughter, not even asking why.
God bade me make the manna for Isaac and his children.
My demons said they’d be here, twelve tribes of them someday,
In this land of desert nomads near the promised land and Egypt
Near the land of milk and honey in the desert of Paran.
In Paran has previousely appeared in The New Press Literary Quarterly, Fulcrum, Enchanting Verses Literary Review, and the anthology Measure for Measure: An Anthology of Poetic Metres, edited by Annie Finch.
Larissa Shmailo is a poet, novelist, translator, editor, and critic. Shmailo’s most recent novel is Sly Bang (Spuyten Duyvil); her first novel is Patient Women (BlazeVOX). Her poetry collections are Dora/Lora (Unlikely Books), Medusa’s Country (MadHat Press), #specialcharacters (Unlikely Books), In Paran (BlazeVOX), the chapbook A Cure for Suicide (Červená Barva Press), and the e-book Fib Sequence (Argotist EBooks). Shmailo’s poetry albums are The No-Net World and Exorcism, for which she won the New Century Best Spoken Word Album award. Shmailo is the original English-language translator of the first Futurist opera Victory over the Sun performed at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art, the Garage Museum of Moscow, the Brooklyn Academy of Music, and theaters and universities worldwide. Shmailo also edited the anthology Twenty-first Century Russian Poetry (Big Bridge Press). She is the founder and facilitator of the Writing Resilience workshop for people affected by trauma, addiction, and/or mental illness, the author of the Writing Resilience Workbook, and the editor of The Writing Resilience Anthology (MadHat Press).
